Saturday, December 11, 2010

WHERE'S MY FRESH DIET FOOD?

First of all, let me tell you who I am. I'm a Westie by the name of Lily. My master's name is Carol. I think she's committing some kind of crime. I hate to snitch on her but......I want some of that FRESH DIET food!! I would like to know if there's some kind of law written somewhere on the books, that states she should be feeding me THE BEST diet. After all we're talking about my well being here.
If I was eating the proper nutrition, I know I wouldn't be scratching my hide so much and my coat would be as shiny as I noticed her hair was getting. Her skin is great too. She also has so much energy, during our daily walks, I noticed she's practically running now. I'm trying to keep up with her.
I keep hunting everywhere for something like That Fresh Diet food, but I can't find any anywhere. Nothing smells as good as The Fresh Diet. The other day Carol put her lunch out in the garden and then went in the house for something. Boy... did I try my best to jump on that cafe chair. I know I could have devoured that FRESH DIET BURGER before she returned.
Man!!! No such luck, she caught me just as I was trying to reach over to grab it! She can be so mean sometimes. She sat there and ate it right in front of me! I kept trying to nudge her leg every minute but she just ignored me. I could smell that FRESH DIET BURGER and let me tell you the aroma was more than I could stand. So, I tried to jump on her lap! She scolded me and then she did the MOST ridiculous thing! She went and got my DOG FOOD and she actually put it in an empty FRESH DIET container. Does she think I'm stupid! I just ignored it! 
When she finally got up and went into the house with the empty plate, I followed and just looked right up at her and gave her that LOOK. You know the one. The pleading one that means can I just lick your plate...pleeese!
Every night around 9:15 P.M. I lie in wait for what she calls the FRESH DIET FAIRY.  I lie in the hall leading to the living room where I can hear him come. The minute I hear the car door I start barking in excitement. I just can't help myself. I just know delicious smelling food is in those bags he brings. I can't wait for Carol to open them. I run out ahead of her, practically tripping her, but I want to get to them first! She takes them in and I nudge them with my nose all the way to the kitchen. I know I keep getting in her way but I have to see and smell that scrumptious food. Maybe,  she might just give me some of it. I try to jump up and look in those bags as she's getting the containers out. She's just too quick for me. I tried to knock one out of her hands but she put them in the fridge before I could. Geesh!
In the evening, I have to sit right by her side every time she eats that FRESH DIET CHEESECAKE.
I practically put my face right in it so she'll give me a bite. Oh no, she doesn't.  I like when she eats it right out of the container instead of putting it on a plate. I have a way of snitching the container after she's done with it and then I'm in heaven! I can spend an hour just trying to lick every morsel from the crevices of the container. Let me tell you, I can lick that thing cleaner than a whistle! Then I show her my love by snuggling up to her all night long!
Ooooh yeah! I've got to tell you it kills me every time she takes a photo of her food!

It gets me so crazy. The aromas of that FRESH DIET food is just too much for me to take. I circle around her as she's trying to set everything up. I'm hoping some falls my way. She just keeps chasing me away.
One morning, she just through me out in the yard! I was livid! 
Well...I'm waiting for an answer, is there a law out there that says, SHE'S GOT TO SHARE HER FRESH DIET WITH ME!







5 comments:

  1. Hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time! My dogs will agree completely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Carol I love it. Poor miss Lily. But I don't blame you for not sharing. I don't think I could either - sometimes its even difficult to share with Jenn :)
    take heart Miss Lily one day you may get a real taste. Yeah right When Pigs Fly

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm a sucker for Lily's mooching ways so, yes she does know what most everything The Fresh Diet has tastes like.

    ReplyDelete